All Hype and No Play

You know how James Brown was a sex machine? Basically a machine that can produce sex, efficently and consistantly? Well Peter Molyneux is a hype machine. Basically a machine that talks about how well it can produce sex, efficently and consistantly. Wait, no, I mean this man can hype, and get you excited, about pretty much anything.

"Hi, my name is Peter. How can I hype you?"

For years the man has been working to hype such video games as Fable and Fable 2. The man does what ever he can to get you excited about a disk that you put into a bastardized computer (see: gaming console). He'll even go so far as to making stuff up (ex: Fable). Its exciting to watch him in action. Seriously. Every game he talks about sounds like it was concepted by Leonardo Divinci, programmed/developed by Jesus Christ and Suda 51, and Voice overed by God (and Rhona Mitra)! Not to mention that playing it replenishes your health (physically and spiritually), teaches you ancient Latin, signs you up for swimming lessons (but also teaches you how to swim), raises the value of your home, takes out the trash, finds intelligent life on other planets, destroys the intelligent life on other planets (trust me it needed to be done), and lastly warms up your coco (and adds those lil marshmallows!).

Just like the cake...the Coco's a lie.

Basically the man makes everything sound better than sliced bread. Although I am sure he could hype a sliced bread game (Now with more butter!). One has to wonder a few things. Ok, firstly, how great would it be if he were to tell someone about YOU. Like, if someone were to be like, "So what is Frank like?" (OMG how lucky am I if there is someone named Frank reading this post?!). Peter would clear his throat, crack his knuckles, tip his hat, then set off to explain the wonders of frank! Frank, the marvel of a man that brings society to its ultimate fruition. The man that effortlessly breathes life in to everything he does. Each and every step he takes is a blessing to the Earth and its inhabitants!

Frank (double points if your name is Frank and this is actually you!)

Back to Peter. The second thing one has to wonder is much differently history would sound coming from him. Back in the ol days, Native Americans passed down their history through word of mouth. I don't know anything about Peter's lineage, but I'd be worried if he were the one telling me about how my ancestors lived.

Moving on, his newest kick is something called Project Natal. Its a motion sensor for you to embarrass yourself in front of. Of course when Peter explains it, its a revolution. You need it. But that's the topic for a later post...