How are you this fine Fathers Day?! Hopefully you are spending some good quality time with your dad/father/step-father/or pimp (who's your daddy?). If not, then load up some video games, cause there's plenty of fatherly love to be had there. Where? Why let me tell you...son/daughter:
Cranky Kong - Donkey Kong Series
We start with perhaps the oldest of fathers. Cranky Kong is not a playable character. Not even in his debut game "Donkey Kong" (you may have heard of it) where he was...um, Donkey Kong, that jack ass that through the barrels at what would be one day Mario. Since then he just gives (new) Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong crap, but oh boy does Diddy Kong deserve it. Poo flingin little bastard!
James (Dad) - Fallout 3
The guy just wants to save the world. Go ask your dad what his plans are for the day...go ahead, I'll wait....
Yeah, he probably said "my plan for the day is to not be bugged by you. Thanks for nothing." This should make you appreciate James all that much more. He's a fantastic father, dropping his research to raise YOU. Then what do you do? Put yourself in harms way! What do you think this is, a game or something?
(techincal entry) DarkStar - No More Heroes
Ranked the number 1 assassin in No More Heroes (yeah, ok this is a spoiler, kinda, but seriously if you haven't played this game yet shame on you! Go play it, nerd). He immediately puts you in your place by whipping out a beam katana that is WAY bigger than yours. You must have gotten yours from your mother. I won't say any more about him, cause you're a nerd and you haven't played it yet...nerd!
Naked Snake/Big Boss (call him what you want) - Metal Gear Series
"The Greatest Warrior of the Twentieth Century". Yeah, your dad just got owned again. He's probably only "The Greatest Barbecuer on the Block (if you don't count the guy at the end of the block)". Now, Naked Snake is not TECHNICALLY a father, but he is the father of the legacy that is the Snake family. Ya know, Solid Snake and Liquid Snake and a stuff like that.
Brazul - Kya Dark Lineage
You've never heard of this guy before. I bet you've never played the game. But I have. My list. Moving on...He's the father of the main character, Kya, as well as being the main antagonist. He got sucked into (a time share) a vortex, or something and ended up becoming evil. I guess that's how it works? Anyway, he never shows remorse, or any sign of being good. He's just a bad dad. He also laughs EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DIE! No joke.
Bill - Left 4 Dead
He's my dad. At least, I wish he were.
Jecht - Final Fantasy X
He taught Tidus how to dress (fail) then he turned in to Sin (epic fail). He's pretty good at Blitzball though. Does that make up for being Sin? Yes! But it doesn't make up for Tidus' crappy clothing choices. Sorry Jecht, but no!
Big Daddy - Bioshock
Not techincally a father so much as a great little pun for this segment. And just know that as long as I am alive, and this blog is alive, I will make this part of the list EVERY FATHER'S DAY!
James (Dad) - Fallout 3The guy just wants to save the world. Go ask your dad what his plans are for the day...go ahead, I'll wait....
Yeah, he probably said "my plan for the day is to not be bugged by you. Thanks for nothing." This should make you appreciate James all that much more. He's a fantastic father, dropping his research to raise YOU. Then what do you do? Put yourself in harms way! What do you think this is, a game or something?
(techincal entry) DarkStar - No More HeroesRanked the number 1 assassin in No More Heroes (yeah, ok this is a spoiler, kinda, but seriously if you haven't played this game yet shame on you! Go play it, nerd). He immediately puts you in your place by whipping out a beam katana that is WAY bigger than yours. You must have gotten yours from your mother. I won't say any more about him, cause you're a nerd and you haven't played it yet...nerd!
Naked Snake/Big Boss (call him what you want) - Metal Gear Series"The Greatest Warrior of the Twentieth Century". Yeah, your dad just got owned again. He's probably only "The Greatest Barbecuer on the Block (if you don't count the guy at the end of the block)". Now, Naked Snake is not TECHNICALLY a father, but he is the father of the legacy that is the Snake family. Ya know, Solid Snake and Liquid Snake and a stuff like that.
Brazul - Kya Dark LineageYou've never heard of this guy before. I bet you've never played the game. But I have. My list. Moving on...He's the father of the main character, Kya, as well as being the main antagonist. He got sucked into (a time share) a vortex, or something and ended up becoming evil. I guess that's how it works? Anyway, he never shows remorse, or any sign of being good. He's just a bad dad. He also laughs EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DIE! No joke.
Bill - Left 4 DeadHe's my dad. At least, I wish he were.
Jecht - Final Fantasy XHe taught Tidus how to dress (fail) then he turned in to Sin (epic fail). He's pretty good at Blitzball though. Does that make up for being Sin? Yes! But it doesn't make up for Tidus' crappy clothing choices. Sorry Jecht, but no!
Big Daddy - BioshockNot techincally a father so much as a great little pun for this segment. And just know that as long as I am alive, and this blog is alive, I will make this part of the list EVERY FATHER'S DAY!
So no matter who your daddy is, he made you. He's the guy that was like, oops, now I have a kid. But be thankful at the very least that you were born and can have new fathers like Naked Snake. Just try not to picture your father naked. Oops you just did.
Happy Fathers Day!
Update: It appears my post idea was rather unique: Kotaku
Happy Fathers Day!
Update: It appears my post idea was rather unique: Kotaku
No comments:
Post a Comment