In Bill We Trust!

When news of Left 4 Dead 2 came out there were many, many reactions. Most of them involved needing to replace underwear. I don't wear any, so I didn't end up having to worry about that. Introduced were new weapons, new gameplay elements, new location (Louisiana, really?), and a whole new cast of main characters:
Soon afterwards there was, at least from my sources, some controversy around some of the things the NEW main chracters said (stereotype?).

Ok, honestly people? THAT is what you are worried about?! Do you not see the big picture here? Are you missing something? Like, maybe I dunno THE FACT THAT BILL ISN'T IN THE GAME (as far as we know)!!!!

You remember Bill from the first Left 4 Dead? The wily, grumpy, wise, determined, no nonsense old man that could keep up with even the most spry youngsters? The man that would spout things like:

"These woods look thicker than Boomer shit."
"Speak up, Francis! Your voice got all muffled from your head being so far up your ass."
"An assault rifle? Aw man, this brings me back..."
"Goddamn it, son of a bitch!"
"Hell, mosta this blood ain't mine!"
"Aaah... I'm getting too old for this horse shit."

Starting to remember now?! Look, I am not saying that EVERY game needs to have the mighty Bill in it (except that I am), but maybe at least ALL the games in the series need to. There is one way, however, that I can be appeased, if they really don't see their way in to putting Bill in to any more games. It's simple: let him be president.

Who better to be president than a man than a man who is ready to deal with a zombie apocalypse?! We're talking about a man who has already served his country! We are talking about a man who will not take shit from biker dudes that "don't hate vests"!

Sure the tobacco company will be cut a break, and there will be no moderation on pills. Also, all military vets will be allowed to carry guns around, but think of all there is to gain!

So Left 4 Dead 3, can come out in 2013 with president Bill and his promise for "a med pack on every back and a propane tank in every garage"